Single and first time mother at 43 years old (Chapter 2)

Chapter 2

Doctor S recommends an IVF procedure.

And because he doesn’t do IVF’s, I had to go to another doctor and start the procedures and stimulation.

Preparation …. hope …. are …. unique. The waiting process ….. unique ….

I have to be honest. Too many injections indeed, but the process not so difficult.

I made an egg extraction procedure ( It was a success!

After two days … the embryo transfer procedure.

Nothing very painful. Do not worry :).

Two weeks of waiting and hope … If I get pregnant? How it will be? He / she will love me?

Then came the pregnancy test …. Positive!

At the age of 38, there was something special inside of me.

The first ecography (ultrasound) … the first hopes. It’s such a joy.

I left so confident from the doctor (let say dr. A), and I waited two more weeks to go to a new ultrasound.

The doctor was slightly disinterested, and full of too many female patients, took me quickly and, without any preparation, told me the pregnancy had stopped from growing (evolution).

Silence … abyss …… for me. For dr A? … He added: “Madam … you did not have to get pregnant! You are too old!”

I should have said many things to him. A bunch of thoughts: “If I’m too old, why did not you tell me from the beginning?”

But I did not. It’s not worth it.

Outside dr’s A office, I met Dr. S.
“You’re not too old,” he said to me. Kind, I thought.
“Conceiving a baby is such an important thing. It’s between you, a doctor and something much more powerful then all of us. Something Divine. Something that we, the doctors, don’t understand”.

He gave me confidence.

I found out then about the embryo’s heart rate (a good heart rate is above 120).

I did then HCG levels….The embryo was dead indeed. Then I took some drugs……and the embryo was no more.

After a few weeks I called Dr. S and told him I’ll try again.

Only … something unexpected has happened. Dad died …

And I forgot about my wish … I slowed down …

It took some time … the pain … My dad was gone exactly one year after my mother was gone.

next Chapter 3

(you cand read here Chapter I)

Single and first time mother at 43 years old

Chapter 1

38 years old.

How time flies. Waw! No husband, no child …

Yesterday I was 20 years old and I’ve had all the time in the world to do things. I still have. For some things. For others things, do I still have time?

If you are alone or, at least, you have failed to have a partner or a husband it doesn’t mean you can’t and you don’t have to have a baby.

But what will the world say? Am I interested? NO!

Will the child suffer? But what if I explain all things to him/her? Does he/she will understand?

Do I feel the need to have a baby? YES!

That’s how I thought, and I decided, at the age of 38, to make a baby …

I called to a specialised clinic, and I made an appointment.

I asked the one who answered: who is the most trusted gynaecologist.
And she recommended Dr. S to me.

I presented myself at the scheduled date.

When the doctor asked what is the problem that I have, I said: “I want to make a baby.”

“Okay”, he said. Do you have a partner?
” No”. “I had one, but it didn’t worked out”.

The doctor, easily puzzled, asks me a number of questions. He’s young and open minded.
“Okay, you must do several tests”, he said.

And I started to do all the tests.

The doctor chose to make Intrauterine insemination (IUI).

I received a secret donors list and after days of searching … choices … height … eye colour … hair colour … age … etc … I chose one.

Tall, with dark hair, green eyes (like my mother).

I did a little stimulation and a procedure was done by the doctor.

I’ve been waiting for two weeks. Unfortunately, with hope, with joy…nothing happened …

next Chapter 2 – NEXT STEP